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Saturday, June 14, 2014

Nana Jaan Ki Shaadi

Spark-off warning: Dear reader, your venturing further into the reading of this article may spark-off envy, especially if you are an ageing male marooned in a monogamous marriage; the rendition could create a feeling of inadequacy. Proceed at your own risk!

Once upon a time, in the twenty first century, there lived a Nana jaan (beloved maternal grandfather). He had granddaughters of marriageable age. About six months back this zestful Nana jaan lost his wife due to old age. Being bored, he started twittering. He tweeted his opinion on everything. Then one day he tweeted “I am in a relationship with a married woman, a TV artiste, twenty five years my junior. Whoa.”

As expected all hell broke loose. However, matters quietened down when the lady in question tweeted sweetly that, “I am ready to tie the knot with my love as soon as I get my divorce. Till then the relationship will continue.”  That settled it. He had to be married off.

Image courtesy Internet

Accepting the inevitable, the granddaughters started preparing for a big fat wedding for Nana jaan. Save the date invite gives a peep into the wedding plan.    

The invite began thus: We, the grandchildren, have great pleasure in inviting you to the wedding of our dear Nana jaan, on November 22, 2014 and would request you to save the date.

Our Nanee ji, to be, is the daughter of ….. oops, sorry, sorry. No, please make that wife of Mr. Rai Bahadur. She is trying hard to separate officially from Mr. Rai Bahadur but if it does not happen, then Mr. Rai Bahadur will give her away to our Nana jaan on November 22. Mr. Rai Bahadur says that nothing would make him happier than to perform the patni daan, if it maybe called that, on that auspicious occasion.  

Have A Quick First Look: Bro Karan has taken upon himself to attire the bride and the bridegroom. You know how bro is. For the bridegroom it is a white designer sherwani with exquisite embroidery work in silver thread. The sherwani has a small V-opening at the top to showcase the cravat that Nana jaan will be sporting round his neck. The pagdi is adorned with an heirloom diamond. With choost pyjama and silver coloured mojdis, Nana jaan looked dapper at the trial.

Image courtesy Internet
 Bro has, of course, gone OTT with the lehenga and choli for the bride. The artistic pattern, the gold thread embroidery and the precious stones in the ensemble, made Nanee ji, to be, look unbelievably regal.

Sneak a peek into the Programme: At 7 o’clock of the evening of November 22, the huge baaraat of the bridegroom, headed by us, will start from Nana jaan’s house accompanied by full band baaja. The first number will be by Alka didi singing the famous song from Raj Kapoor’s film Aah but with the lyrics slightly altered by an impish chachu to make them more meaningful. Have a small glimpse of what it is going to be like: 

Nana Jaan ki ayegi baraat, 
Phir se rangeeli hogi unki raat,  
Magan mein nachoongi, Ho, ho Magan mein nachoongi……… 

Alka didi guarantees that her Runa-like rendering of the song will send the gathering into raptures especially the youngsters who will start dancing with full josh. 

The High Point: At the reception, after the pundits are done with, Nana jaan will do the present in-thing of Bollywood ishtyle marriages by performing a sixty seven second (one second for each year of his age) jig for the invitees. Nana jaan has been extremely sporting to agree to do his thing to a two-line bit from a song in Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani. We are sure you must be knowing the song we are referring to. Vaibhavi di, incidentally, has done a great job of choreographing it. It will remain an unforgettable moment. 

Nanee ji, as she will officially be now, is slightly diffident of performing in view of her changed position. She may just take a bow. After that the invitees will dance their heart out till it is time for Bidaai.

The Send-off: The event manager thinks that under the present circumstances this has to be different from the usual Bidaai – it will not be one of sadness of parting but a celebration of a union. Therefore, when Nana jaan steps down from the stage to take the bride home, the DJ will play:

Le jayenge le jayenge dilwale dulhaniya le jayenge,
Aji reh jayange reh jayenge,
dekhnewaley dekhte reh jayenge.
Image courtesy Internet

 And then, as the couple is about to reach the white horse carriage, the DJ will play the sensuous Asha Bhosle and Lata Mangeshkar number from Utsav:

Man kyon behka re behka aadhi raat ko
Bela mehka re mehka aadhi raat ko
Raat hoti shuru hai aadhi raat ko
Man kyon behka re behka aadhi raat ko

The Finale: Wishing Bon Voyage to our fun-loving Nana Jaan onward to Hawaii for his honeymoon. 

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